I Wanna Be a Rockstar
by Aggy
Summary: The pilots discuss fame, fortune and the ever present danger of fan girls. Rogue and Wraith Squadrons, Wedge Antilles, Wes Janson, Face Loran and the rest of the boys in orange


Title: I Wanna Be a Rockstar  
Author(s): Selina/Aggy  
Fandom: Star Wars  
Timeframe: N/A  
Characters: Rogue and Wraith pilots  
Genre: Humor  
Summary: The pilots discuss fame, fortune and the ever present danger of fan girls.  
Disclaimer: I do not own SW or the pilots (Oh how I'd love to…) Lucas owns the toys, I just have fun with them.  
Notes: This fic was based on the lyrics of Nickelback's Rockstar. I don't own that either. The lyrics have been altered slightly due to language.

Reporter: Thank you for tuning in to _Access Coruscant_. Tonight, we have a special treat for our viewers. The reclusive x-wing pilots of the New Republic are in the studio to discuss fame, fortune, and the ever present danger of fan girls. So here they are! Ladies and Gentlebeings give a warm welcome to the men of Rogue and Wraith Squadrons!

_I'm through with standing in line  
to clubs we'll never get in  
It's like the bottom of the ninth  
and I'm never gonna win  
This life hasn't turned out  
quite the way I want it to be_

Gavin: Have you ever been to Tatooine? If you think it's bad _visiting_ there, think about what it's like _living_ there. You're _nobody_ unless you're wearing a uniform. Empire, Rebellion, it doesn't matter. You're _nothing_ if you're haven't enlisted.

I didn't really have much choice in the matter. If I wanted to get off that dustball I had to join up. I grew up hearing stories about my famous cousin. Biggs _this_ and Biggs _that_. Finally, I decided I'd spent too many days watching the sand dunes drift by and joined the Alliance. Sure, I might die young but I'll leave a good looking corpse.

_I want a brand new house  
on an episode of Cribs  
And a bathroom I can play baseball in  
And a king size tub big enough  
for ten plus me_

Myn: Everyone thinks I'm reclusive. My isolation is more due to people's perceptions of me than any real desire to be a hermit. Most beings don't want to become friends with a sniper. (Myn shrugs) It's like they expect me to randomly shoot people for sport. Anyway, I figure it's all for the best. Being reclusive means I get to spend more time at home with my lovely wife, Kirney.

_I'll need a credit card that's got no limit  
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it  
Gonna join the mile high club_   
_At thirty-seven thousand feet_

Wes: Chicks dig pilots. I mean they _really_ like pilots. There's something about a man in an orange flightsuit that drives them wild. It's either the flightsuit or the whole fantasy of the mile high club. (Wes smiles wryly) Though the mile high club is nothing compared to what it's like doing it in hyperspace.

_I want a new tour bus full of old guitars  
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard  
Somewhere between Cher and James Dean is fine for me_

Ooryl: Gand culture is very different than that of humans. A Gand has no status until he performs acts of great importance. Only then is he allowed to use his given name. Even the use of personal pronouns requires great feats of bravery. It takes an act of immense bravery for a Gand to be allowed to use the pronoun 'I.'

_I_ say it whenever _I_ wish.

_I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame  
I'd even cut my hair and change my name_

Face: It was pretty freaky when I 'came back from the dead.' I went from being an anonymous nobody to seeing my face on every holocast on the 'Net. When I was a holo star, I was too young to enjoy being famous. I was a frustrated teenager that always had the paparazzi following me around, recording my every action. Now that all my actions are classified, I'm enjoying every nanosecond of my fame. I'm having the time of my afterlife.

'_Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars  
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars  
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap  
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat  
_

Tycho: Have you ever been to Adumar? They really know how to treat a pilot. They treat you better than royalty. On Adumar, being a pilot makes you a _God_. You can have whatever you want whenever you want. I pretended not to like the star treatment, hoping it'd keep Janson in line, but I loved it. Who wouldn't love being treated like a God? When I retire, I'm moving to Adumar.

_And we'll hang out in the coolest bars  
In the VIP with the movie stars_

_Every good gold digger's  
Gonna wind up there  
Every Playboy bunny  
With her bleach blond hair  
_

Corran: Groupies? Sure I've got them. Every good pilot has 'em. Usually they just want to make you another notch in their bedpost. But occasionally you get one that wants more. They want to use your fame to catapult their own career. I can remember this one girl I knew when I first joined the squad. Sithspawn, she was a manipulative . . .

_Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar  
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar_

_I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels_

Wedge: Sure, Luke blew up the Death Star, but I blew up the second Death Star, laid siege to an entire planet, performed a puppet show in space, kept Wes under control for the past five years, a_nd_ my wanted poster sold ten million copies more than his. Top that, Jedi!

_  
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up. . ._

Kell: Sure we've made enemies. You can't do the things we do without making enemies. But bodyguards? (Kell leans over, his muscles straining against the fabric of his flight suit) Do I really look like the type of person that needs a bodyguard to beat people up for me?

_  
Sign a couple autographs  
So I can eat my meals for free_

_I think I'm gonna dress my ass  
with the latest fashion_

Hobbie: Clothes didn't really matter to me before I accepted those bacta endorsements for Zaltin. Suddenly every designer in the Galaxy wanted me to wear their clothes. It comes in by the crate. I haven't had to buy a single piece of clothing in years. Not even my underwear.

_Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion  
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to  
blow my money for me_

Ton: Before I joined the squad, women rarely looked at me. When they did it was the same one they'd give a three legged, one eyed canine they found in an animal shelter. Now that I'm a Wraith, the females are still sympathetic, but now they're _very_ willing to show it.

_  
I'm gonna trade this life  
For fortune and fame  
I'd even cut my hair  
And change my name_

'_Cause we all just   
wanna be big rockstars_

Face: Sithspawn, being a pilot is better than any other type of fame. I've been a holo star. It was boring compared to this. You get all the perks of fame AND get to blow stuff up! Who _wouldn't_ want to be a pilot?

_Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar  
_


End file.
